Space Station 13, Game Review!

Space Station 13, Game Review!

Do you want to kill your friends and get away with it?

Have you always wanted to experiment with mind altering drugs?

Do you need free counseling from random strangers over the Internet?

If so, Space Station 13 is the game for you.

If your life isn’t lonely and hellish enough, you can come home from a hard shift in the daytime to a harder shift at night, and the best part is you won’t get paid!

Your main mission? To do your job! – and if you do it well, you won’t be murdered or permabrigged by the increasingly angrier goons from the security department. There are many jobs to choose from, and you can spend hours of your life learning their many intricacies.

Space Station 13 is a niche game that requires a superpowered computer to run, with graphics so complex and mind bendingly accurate that it might as well be real life. Space station 13 has been covered by better, more popular youtubers, so make sure you like, share and subscribe to my channel to make me think I’m popular too, don’t forget to leave me a comment telling me I am ugly and going prematurely bald in real life.

Space Station 13 has one of the best character generators ever created. Whilst other inferior online rpgs may do a decent job of replicating my human form, Space Station 13 has perfected it, allowing me to be the ugly balding git I truly am. Pick from millions of different character visual combinations to be your true self online.

Are you tired of your boring mundane real life job? On Space Station 13, you can be anything you like! I have been everything from a Janitor, mopping up blood, sick and pee to a counselor helping people through their most personal struggles online.

If you are an egotistical monster who just wants to control the lives of the prattling insects below you, you can even be the captain. But it won’t stop you from being subjugated by an evil Chaplain’s meat cult. Do you like meat? Traumatize your crew by growing it and then packing it through the mail chutes into every major office until they go mad. The world is literally your oyster.

Your character in Space Station 13 doesn’t have to be a representation of who you are in real life, it can be so much more. Your mission is to do your job and try to survive, no matter what happens around you.

You might have a nice peaceful shift hanging out at the bar, or you might experience absolute armageddon as the station goes to hell around you. Along the way you may be attacked by all manner of different forces out to kill you, from rogue crew to horrifying changelings, no matter what’s going on or how harmless you think you are, someone or something will want you dead. 

Space Station 13 is one of the best roleplaying games that exists because almost everything that has ever happened in science fiction can be replicated by your fellow crew. I’ve even played a dungeons and dragons game as a scottish highlander in game thanks to the mechanics it allows!

I shall regale you with some fantastic tales of my experiences in the Space Station 13 universe.

In my first story, I played as a lawyer called Guinevere Bankruptcy, working against my rival Lou Pohl, whilst trying to represent the legal department I found out that their detective had murdered a man in cold blood, and tried to warn Lou. I went on the run, dying my hair and changing my clothes to try and escape, but the detective was too smart and murdered me and my only friend, the head of personnel. He was also French and a Lizard, which made the experience much more terrifying. 

Space Station 13 allows some character traits that allow you to make the game even more interesting from a roleplaying perspective. I played a round as a pilot, and decided not to work for NanoTrasen, electing to play as someone from a rival corporation. I finally crash landed in the space diner and met up with some crew who defected, and as the round drew to a close, we decided to embark on a new exciting adventure together.

In another beautiful round, I got to be the Head of Personnel and because a staff assistant wished to become the chief engineer, I made them fight the actual chief engineer for the job. It was a beautiful moment and I absolutely loved every minute of it.

In another brilliant round, I played as the clown and stole a cargo technician’s ID. I used it to waste the station’s entire budget on Golden Thrones and office supplies. The crew was so annoyed at me they bundled me into a crate, welded it shut and shipped me off station. 

Another cool feature of the game is that you can also go offstation in fantastic telescience adventures. I spent one crazy round dealing with absolute insanity trying to figure out what had happened on another space station constantly being screwed with by some supernatural force. It was immensely unsettling and totally brilliant. 

For something so 2d that your characters don’t even have a walk animation, Space Station 13 brings you an experience so immersive you may well abandon your social life for it. My favorite station is Goonstation, so if you hate my videos, come and kill me online. 

Space Station 13, the advanced tomato growing simulator from Exadv1. Download Byond today and join the NanoTrasen Corporation. I rate it a solid 9.5 out of 10.

Escape Velocity 1996 Game Review

Escape Velocity 1996 Game Review

1996 spawned one of the greatest classic shareware games of all time Escape Velocity sent us hurtling out into a strange new universe in a small shuttlecraft, with only the most basic shielding to protect us from the hostile cosmos.

Escape Velocity is a 2d space combat, delivery quest and trading game in which you ascend from being an unknown and lowly shuttlecraft captain into the guy or gal who has to save the Galaxy!

When starting out, you need to fly missions and trade basic resources in order to afford the credits to survive and progress. There are several amazing ships to choose from, the most cost efficient being the long range and versatile scout ship. With enough weapons to make it a solid threat, cargo space to cover most missions and the speed and agility to avoid conflict where possible, you cannot go wrong with it. 

Ships can easily be outfitted with whatever gear you can fit on them. Usually rather than going for combat prowess, I find the best upgrades early on convert weapon space to cargo to maximise the profit from trade routes and add fuel tanks to increase the distance you can travel, speeding up progression.

An honorable mention should go to the Courier which is one of my favorite ships on the game, not so much because it’s a great ship but because it was the first one I bought in the game and I flew it for most of the game the first time I played. The courier is not worth the money if you are a serious gamer but if you want a challenge, it’s an excellent vessel.

If we forget the defender exists, the first combat ready ship at your disposal will be the clipper, which packs just enough of a punch to make it a threat for preying on merchant vessels. You can probably tell at this point that I’m a bit of a pirate. Once you have shot your way through a couple of ships, your combat rating will increase allowing you access to the main missions for the game.

You can either play for the confederation, a bunch of jumped up and officious bureaucrats which wear the tried and tested blue, or be one of the cool kids like me and join the rebellion. Either side will allow you access to a few cool ships and technologies. But terror lurks in the stars above.

I’m the opening text crawl, we are taught that there are aliens which fought against humanity but got drove back into the darkness of space. Now they’re back and meaner than ever and it’s up to you to help to destroy them to keep humanity safe… 

Once the universe is saved and you are the hero, become the villain by demanding tribute from the people you just saved. Destroy everything you come across and become a pirate god, hated by the people who you freed from the tentacles of extinction.

Escape Velocity is fun, simple and enjoyable. You can play the game for hours and not get bored, and I have come back to it time and time again. I find that the universe is not very forgiving, much less so if you are stupid enough to play on hardcore mode. Just… remember that escape pod if you do!

Overall, I rate Escape Velocity as a solid 7.5/10. For the time it was one of the best games out there, and even now… In the far future 25 years later… it’s still a great game to play.