Privacy Policy

(Forced upon me by GDPR)

What is going on!?!
The collective elite hath moved their hand and made it so I had to justify what I do with your information. As I don’t do anything dark, dank or spurious with it and only really use it to respond to people who want to get into contact this shouldn’t really have to apply, yet sadly it does. Still I’m going to make this as fun as possible, not only for you but for me too! So this website is owned by me. Some of the images on this site are graciously surrendered by Pexels, Pixabay and Pond5. Fear my mighty peas!!! (I bet you thought you’d get some hideously worded legal jargon! Well you thought wrong! Muahahahaa!!!)

Regarding my contact form: 
If you contact me on my contact form, I will be using the information to get back to you, as I will automatically assume you want me to contact you. I don’t spam people on email lists or transfer any information onto third parties. As no one uses this form to contact me, this is purely for self preservation. Your information will be stored as an email in my inbox until I delete it, and will probably be lost in my inbox after a few days of relentless spam from the so called web gurus that

clutter the inbox up if we don’t talk about anything super serious.

Cookies Policy
My site may or may not put cookies in your browser. These are double choc chip and will feed you a faster loading website in the future if you are ever bored enough to come back. You shouldn’t worry about my cookies as they’re better than other peoples cookies, as you won’t visit me often, think of them like a dieting service for your browser as it might hunger for cookies (Browsers are people to) Clearing cookies from one’s browser is a simple task, and a google search for “how to clear cookies in *insert browser name here*” will teach you how to keep your browser free of all that annoyingness!


Buying/Using my Music/Photos/Work
I reserve the right to say thank you to everyone who actually buys my music. You people keep my site alive, belly full, and help support my child’s life. If I just took the money and didn’t say thanks, I’d be a total smeg head. 

Complaints Department
If you have a complaint, you have the right to contact me. One thing that’s interesting is that even if I pay a company I’m buying my site from to hide my personal details and information as a sole trader in this regard, I have to pretty much reveal where I live and my contact details. Which means I’d need to set up a PO box to be contacted at etc. Nice one! So yeah. I live at 21 Claremont Road, Wivenhoe, Essex, Co79nn, (Come fite me!) and my phone number is 07825 699 422, (I like it cause I film in 4.2.2.) Har har har, film maker joke. 

So What are Your Rights as a User?
You have the right to remain astounded. Asides from that, every right given to you by the law of whatever country you’re currently in. I recommend a copious amount of Ben and Jerrys. I love Chocolate Fudge Brownie and Phish Food. If you have the right to eat Ice Cream than by golly and heck you should take it.

Chan Walrus
The name Chan Walrus is an alias, this means that it’s a super secret name and it’s like a secret identity – so I could be a secret agent or super hero, or both. My real name is apparently Alex O’Neil, well, my mum calls me Alex and she’s done it for long enough for me to be Alex through common usage. As an actor I can pretty much be anybody which means I can be a versitile boyfriend, though I find it hard to portray the hunky roles  with six packs as I think that in reality they are a myth. 

Zomg! You’re Being Stalked!

I, like everyone else in the universe use a tracking tool to track how many people come onto my website. I use Google Analytics. I don’t do anything with the information other than use it to try and improve the web experience for everyone entering the site or to see what works in keeping my audience glued to the screen.