Hi, my name is Alex, though most people don’t know me by that name. Most people know me by the name of Chan Walrus. My friends despair, my mother hates it, and my family mostly think I am an idiot. I have on the other hand got more jobs and work for having a bizarre name than pretty much anything else.
So who am I? Well I have written music for over 150 movies, computer games and short films, run my own marketing company, work as a care assistant and I have been a mission writer for the online game Star Sonata. I work for a fluctuating number of between 8 and 20 people at any given point and I am without doubt absolutely crazy.
My name got me most of that work. It’s stupid but it’s memorable. In most of my opening video chats with people, they are often shocked to find out I am not Asian. The company I run is called Fantasoft. This was an odd name for an advertising and marketing company, but I have to date had over 50 clients in the two years I have run my business, despite marketing mainly for takeaways and restaurants.
I’ll start with Fantasoft…
Fantasoft was a games company made long, long ago. It broke apart long ago and the founders went their separate ways. I loved their games so much that I wanted to name my company Fantasoft in memory of the people who had built my childhood.
With years and years of history, trying to appear on Google was a daunting task, almost completely impossible. Luckily I’m good at SEO. I finally managed to get strong with Fantasoft and now appear competitively on Google for many search terms.
As you can imagine, it’s very weird trying to explain to people who contact you about marketing for their restaurants why your company is named after a games company. I think though that for some strange reason it works. I do, after all, use unique software specially developed for me to give people an edge over their competition. So technically I’m doing things differently from everyone else’s competition. It’s the edge you need in the restaurant marketing business that’s as cutthroat as Sweeney Todd. I have since closed the company, but I am keeping the website around for now…
What Kind of Name is Chan Walrus?
Chan Walrus emerged late one night in a game my dad and I used to play. The aim was to say a really silly first name and a horrible unfitting second name. We had names like Gwendolyn Splatt, Marco Shapeshifter and Silas Cucumber. My dad liked Chan Walrus, so he became a character in a science fiction series I wanted to work on.
I ended up working on some music for a guy called Chris Seaver and used the name as a composer. Strangely there was a surge of people who wanted the divine music of the Walrus. Despite being a thoroughly lousy composer at the time, I lapped up the work.
I don’t know how or why it happened but I really started to enjoy being Chan Walrus. I was a zeta list celebrity, invited to no parties, shunned by friends and family and I had one person come up to me in the street having recognised me in an interview to take a picture with me. He hated my music! But it was so cool!
Now I know that Chan Walrus is never going to be a famous name, not when there are amazingly brilliant names out there like Lil Poopy, Rip Torn and John Smith, however it does fit into the random bizarro niche I have ended up in. Independent horror trash exploitation films.
When it comes to business at Fantasoft, I am dedicated, hard working and reliable, or I try to be, as much as possible. I use the name Alex. This is because in this circle, I have to be as professional as possible. When working in Care, I am Alex, Alec, Tom, Bill, Joe, Mum, Dad or Oi. Whatever works for the situation. When working on my own wacky stuff or with music I am Chan. It’s a little hard to keep track of, but it doesn’t matter. I enjoy it!
Professionals HATE Chan Walrus!
It’s a tragedy the amount of people who only know my name because I am Chan Walrus who do not like the name. I have been credited for god knows how many fil,s as Alex O’Neil, Alex Oneal, Alexander O’Niell and many more in that vein. It is annoying as all hell. When one signs the release form, one signs as the Walrus so one should be credited as The Walrus. One should thusly be credited as Walrus, not as Alex. It greatly annoys me!
I am a mild mannered space adventurer from a place very far beyond this world. One day, I hope to return home, until then I come in peace, please don’t dissect me!