Good lord, monkeys and thousands of them!


Monkey Madness was the result of my talented friend Liam writing a script for an odious creature who we shall hereafter call Bill Blight and another weird being we shall not refer to as Blancmange Jumanji who isn’t worth talking about hereafter. Bill was supposedly ‘teaching’ Liam (and being paid for it!) at the point and stated in his officiously pompous voice that the task couldn’t use a script written by Liam. I volunteered to turn Liam’s script into a science fiction piece we could both work on as a team and he agreed. Thus monkey madness was born.


Due to the fact we knew were writing for a person of limited wit, we decided to write the script as a homage to 31 famous films rife with religious symbolism and a huge amount of references based deep in pop culture, but make the script so stupid that no one would likely get them. As Bill regards himself as something of a genius, I was disappointed in hearing that he didn’t really understand it, and what’s more did not appreciate it’s artistic beauty.


We used purposefully dumb lines to make sure that Bill Blight knew we were trolling him. We took a lot of care ensuring that not only did the lines sound incredibly stupid, but that the actors playing the characters would make them as ridiculous and terrible as possible. Making the film was an absolute joy.


Joining us in our journey to drive Bill insane through sheer stupidity were Zach Miller, Ellis Macaluso (now Lex), Jacky Fong, Cameron Wilton, Neil Rowe and James Pottinger. With a combination of bizarreness and unorthodox film making techniques, I think we managed it. 


Despite the fact the film doesn’t make any sense, according to Bill and most other sentient life, it actually has a story. Before I go into the oncoming rant, I don’t expect anyone to get any of this because it was so convoluted that there’s no need.


Deekon and Itano are heading to Earth, Itano means stage, and his character sets the stage for the film, revealing what has come before in true Shakespearean fashion. Deekon by the way is subservient to Itano and his name means servant. Ah the devil is in the details.


Raphel (God has healed relating to something I will go into later.) is a rogue exile on the run from the Chimps who are chasing him. He is hiding on Earth disguised as Tom. Raphel murdered T.L.C. (T.L.C. Being a reference to the squirrel monkey ‘Baker’ who was one of the first two animals sent to space by the US. (Jesus Christ Bill.) The other being Able, as Abel was already murdered by Cain, Raphel couldn’t murder him…Also Tom Baker… Ah well…) The murder scene is actually quite horrible. But it also features a Rubber duck. (T.L.C. Likes rubber ducks and the Captain in Hitchhikers says one can never be alone with a rubber duck, you can and should look this up if you have the time.)


Ah yes, there are guns from Blake’s 7 in here, (Bill didn’t watch it clearly so he had no childhood.) The glitch trip in the following chase scene was an actual camera screw up from me for running the darned thing too long and burning it out. 


Tom is being spied on, as is mentioned, if one is paying attention to this crap, by Amanda (Meaning must be loved) who tells him that she wants a real relationship with him. He is staring at a blue screen with ‘insert subliminal message here’ written on it. A reference to Okabe (another reluctant hero from Stein’s;Gate, a series from 2011 about time travel who also looks at screens but these ones have weird alpaca men on them.) I love the way Ellis also references that this film is a bad movie and breaks the fourth wall. You deserve all of this Bill. Ya curly haired Philistine. *Slaps Blight with A Kipper*


So basically Tom and Amanda head out to the woods (at Amanda’s request, remember this) which are a ridiculous way away. This is for an evening of romance at Amanda’s request. Tom clearly is not connecting with her, remember she wants to be loved. He even ignores the fact she found the flashlight, and claims to have found it himself.


I threw in a Rocky Horror reference about the spare tyre. They bicker for a while and then Ellis references the fact that her character is afraid of the dark. I actually referenced it for Bill because I didn’t think he would pick it up in watching. I was probably right and he probably missed it anyway. Amanda persuades Tom to get out of the car when they hear a weird sound. (Remember this.)


So Tom isn’t really surprised to see giant alien monkeys outside. This should be a red flag that there is something off with him if nothing else was to this point. If you haven’t worked out at this point that Tom isn’t actually who he appears to be, then I despair. 


Tom is actually Raphel. Who the hell knows what a Z6000 hyperdrive is on Earth? The monkeys in the beginning even said he was possibly hiding in human form. There are constant hints dropped throughout the movie.


Raphel is chased down by the monkeys who follow him through the woods, and finally arrives back at the car, where he calls for Tetragrammaton to save him. (Tetragrammaton for those who do not know is the Hebrew name for God. This is more commonly YHWH or Yahweh.) He climbs back into the car to find out Amanda is actually one of the monkeys coming to get him, and regrets his relationship. (Amanda is his Judas. Yes we are getting religious in biblical proportions.)


All along, as previously signposted. (For god’s sake Bill Blight.) Amanda was a spy, as mentioned sent to Earth to keep an eye on Raphel. She lured him out to the woods so that he could be ambushed and slain by monkeys. They stab him ruthlessly with bananas as he lies on the car arms out to each side.


With Raphel dying on the car, the monkeys are healed from their monkey affliction and murder frenzy. (Remember the name Raphel means God has healed. Jesus is part of the holy trinity, being the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, that make up YHWH or the Tetragrammaton. Jesus died upon the cross as Raphel died on the car in the shape of a cross to heal human beings of their sins. In the act of murder that takes place, they are cleansed and healed of their sins.)


The Monkeys question what they have done in finally killing one of their own. They put him out of our misery and the film ends. 


So this film was regarded as silly, and it really is. We put a lot of effort into it, and despite the fact I’m a terrible cameraman, we managed to get something decent out of it.


I like to use religious symbolism in my work and in all honesty, there’s a lot more in here especially in pop culture references that I haven’t mentioned. Most of my work is stupid and convoluted, and I spend a lot of time working in things that most people either wouldn’t get or find inappropriate.


It was a pleasure working with everyone, and thankfully Liam had to deal with Bill Blight so I didn’t have to. The world was safe once more!

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